Ashamed and find it difficult to discuss personal matters with your partner, especially around porn addiction? Something I’ve struggled with all my life is disclosing this issue to most of my partners. Eventually leading to performance issues in bed and unnecessary tension in the relationship. Most of this can be avoided.. Here are the top 3 reasons you need to open up to your partner and have an honest conversation… for better or for worse.
1. Peace of Mind
Ever find yourself anxious and fearful about bringing up a difficult subject with your partner? Either thinking that you will cause irreparable strain to the relationship or you do not have the energy to bring it up and will do it tomorrow? I’ve experienced both and I can tell you hiding anything from your partner causes unnecessary stress that is unhealthy and leaves you strained. Whether it be your wife, girlfriend, boyfriend, friends with benefits… it doesn’t matter, I believe being open and honest is critical to building trust in any relationship.
Sure.. broaching the topic is stressful and discussing your issues is a painful punch to your ego but I guarantee you will feel better in the long run. If your pornography use is causing issues in the bed like Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction, communication is especially critical. Women derive a great amount of confidence and value based off your sexual attraction to them. Performance issues and lack of communication will lead most women to assume the attraction has dissipated and will eventually lead to a breakup. Trust me, peace of mind the foundation to recovery and continual progression toward your goals.
2. Build Trust
Discussing something so personal and shameful to your partner will build trust in your relationship and strengthen communication between you both. When I told my girlfriend about my addiction and why it’s caused issues in the bedroom, she was extremely understanding and took all the pressure off of having sex. You can enjoy each other without building unnecessary pressure on yourself to perform. This will lead to a faster recovery from PIED (Porn Induced Erectile Dysfunction) and strengthen your confidence as you notice a gradual increase in stimulation.
Thoughts are pure momentum.. ever have a situation where one thing goes wrong then it snowballs into an avalanche of issues that can ruin your day.. All from that one snowflake of an issue. Doing something you have not done before like opening up will change your mental momentum for the better, decreasing the stress and realizing that these issues and everything in life is mental. It’s not the situation itself that is the problem but how you react to a situation that can set you on a different trajectory.
3. Adversity Shows Character
How will your girlfriend react and who is she really? I believe adversity always brings out the best and worst in people. If your girlfriend reacts in a negative and derogatory manner, it’s time to evaluate if she is the right one for you. Support and encouragement are crucial components to recovery. If your partner fails to show either then it will difficult to recover with additional tension in the relationship. On the flipside, if your girlfriend is understanding and encouraging of the struggles your experiencing then she is likely an asset that will help you on your road to recovery.
Conclusion
Being open and honest with anything in life is important for changing what is hindering you the most. For myself and most men, it is porn addiction but it can be anything, food, Keeping Up With the Kardashians, drugs or a toxic relationship. Whatever is holding you back is meant to overcome and the first step is being honest with yourself and those you love. Life is about conquering adversity and knowing your obstacle is the first step towards a better life…
